Meeting women and talking to women (in person) isn’t what it used to be. Then again, not a whole lot of human interaction in general is what it used to be. If we’re being completely honest, basic human interaction was a lot simpler before the “smartphone” came along (thanks a lot, Steve Jobs).
Now, of course, we kid…to some extent. Technology can be great. It really can. However, it has also, in many cases, cheapened the most basic of human interactions, that oh-so-delicate dance between a man and a woman.
At Gallantry, however, we choose to look at said glass as being half-full. If you’re a single, sharp Gallantry Man, it’s important to keep something in mind. All this technology? The Postmates. The Netflix. The Amazon. It has made a lot of dudes lazy. However, herein lies the silver lining. Do you know how easy that makes it to stand out (and stand up straight and tall) with your chest out in this day and age?
What we’re saying is that if you just “act as if” it is 2006, you’ll automatically be more intriguing, interesting, and mysterious to women than basically 99% of the other men out there, especially the ones that don’t get their EDC from Gallantry.
Now kick back, relax, and check out a few of our tips for talking to women. Believe us, by the time you’ve reached the end of this article, you’ll be having the ladies saying “Hubba hubba!” in no time (but you already knew that didn’t you? You sly dog, you!).
TIP #1: BE A GALLANTRY MAN
If you’ve made it this far, you’ve already got the first tip on lock. You have the greatest taste in everyday carry in the history of Western Civilization. And you know what they say about taste, right? You can’t buy it. You either have it or you don’t.
You, old sport. Well, you have it…and you have it in spades. Baby, you’re money.
TIP #2: KNOW THYSELF
“You play to your strengths, pal. That’s all any of us can do.”
– Jacob Palmer (Ryan Gosling), Crazy Stupid Love (2011)
A lot of guys out there today simply don’t know who the hell they are. They’re obsessed with projecting an image of who they think they should be or who they ought to be or this, that, and the other thing. Believe us when we tell you that the gorgeous redhead at the bar? She’ll sniff this aura off a “I’m not a Gallantry Man” in milliseconds because this kind of mindset can make a pair of spicy pantalones drier than the ice Dippin’ Dots uses to keep their ice cream cold with.
What we’re saying is this. If you haven’t really done the work already, figure out who you really are at this moment. We live in a time rich with bs, so being authentic is the money move. Unhappiness and confusion comes from having a lack of self-worth. And, remember, if you’re reading this right now? You are worth it. Keep this in mind when you head out into the wild, otherwise the beautiful babies are going to smell you coming like a cheap suit.
Look in the mirror. Remind yourself that wanting to strike up a conversation with a woman that you find attractive doesn’t make you weird or creepy or any of those things. You want to know why? Because you’re someone worth talking to. That’s why. Capisce?
Think about it. If you’re not really being yourself because you’re putting on a presentation or a façade, than you’re not really connecting with someone on that level where they really like you. That’s not to say creating a persona can’t work in the short-term, sure, but in the long term? Fuggedaboutit. After all, how far can you go if you never really give the other person a chance to know who you really are in the first place.
Think about the movie Swingers (1996). For most of the movie, Mike (Jon Favreau) is a hot mess. He blows it with several attractive women that dig him. Then, in the movie’s third act, he meets Lorraine (Heather Graham). At this point in the movie, he’s resolved his baggage. He’s evolved by learning from his previous mistakes. He’s over his ex-girlfriend from New York for real. At last, he’s comfortable with who he is. Because of this, because he’s no longer trying too hard and he’s no longer desperate, he’s really able to finally connect. By simply being himself and being genuine (i.e. letting his guard down), he ultimately gets the girl. Why? Because women like a bold man (recall that Mike asks Lorraine to dance) with confidence. And where does confidence come from? It comes from knowing who you are.
The late Christopher Hitchens and Salman Rushdie. Legends.
The late Christopher Hitchens and Salman Rushdie. Legends.TIP #3: BE FUNNY, CLEVER, WITTY, AND CHARISMATIC
There is no question that for women the need or ability to be funny is tremendously less than it is amongst men...Women don't need to be funny, but for most men if they can't make a woman laugh they are out of the evolutionary contest. They're never going to get laid. Most men are fantastically unattractive. What women see in them is mysterious to most men, as well as most women. If you can't make them laugh, you don't have a chance. With women, there is no need to be rendering yourself attractive to men in that way. We already find you attractive, thanks.
- Christopher Hitchens, 2007
The late, great British-American author, journalist, orator, and columnist Christopher Hitchens was the living embodiment of wit. He was a truthteller and often-times a contrarian. He enjoyed – in fact he loved - stirring the pot. If he were still alive today, he’d have been canceled ten thousand times over. Thankfully, however, his thoughts are still widely available and accessible. You may not agree with all of Hitch’s views on everything (who agrees with everyone on everything?), but on the subject of men and women, this man was Aristotle, Socrates, and Plato rolled into one. In other words, nobody understood the following fundamentally basic tenet of evolutionary psychology better than Hitch:
Intuitively everyone thinks that a sense of humor, or wit, is a sign of intelligence. So it can be, if people aren’t following me closely, that an accusation that one lacks a sense of humor or isn’t funny, which are two different things, either, though, is an insult. Now, of course, this isn’t true. It would be a waste of the male effort to be funny, which is much more highly evolved, much more evolutionary self-selective, if women didn’t have a sense of humor and couldn’t be made to laugh. I won’t try and do it for you on camera, but there’s an attitude, the head thrown back with the mouth wide open, the horseshoe of lovely teeth and tongue on display, that is, well, a bit of a surrender. It’s worth it for it’s own sake and it’s a simulacrum of something even more worth it. Now women don’t need to do that to men. And with that, as they say, I rest my thought.
It is true (if you ask us) that being funny is something that you’re either born with or not. If you’re not funny, however, you can simply learn from the best (should we start a consulting arm of Gallantry?). In other words, while you don’t need to be hilarious, you do need to garner that ‘surrender’ at some point in your conversation with a woman if you’re attempting to escalate the interaction.
Rushdie and ex-wife #4, model and Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi
Rushdie and ex-wife #4, model and Top Chef host Padma LakshmiThe beautiful actress Olivia Wilde and then-boyfriend Salman Rushdie.
The beautiful actress Olivia Wilde and then-boyfriend Salman Rushdie.You see the great novelist and essayist Salman Rushdie? Do you think Padma Lakshmi and Olivia Wilde were into this guy because he looked like Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) in Fight Club? We don’t know for certain, but we’re guessing not. And they didn’t like him for his money, either (they both probably were likely earning more than him at the time at which they dated and/or were married him – he’s a novelist, not Elon Musk).
Watch Salman Rushdie speak or read his books. He’s extremely smart, articulate, and full of piercing wit.
Rushdie plays himself on the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode “The Fatwa Boys” (Season 9, Episode 3) and mentors Larry in the art of seduction.
Rushdie plays himself on the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode “The Fatwa Boys” (Season 9, Episode 3) and mentors Larry in the art of seduction.If you’ve never seen Rushdie’s incredible cameo appearance on Curb Your Enthusiasm (he’s playing himself), you should. It’s incredible. He (honestly) explains to Larry that his legendary talent for attracting gorgeous women has everything to do with his confidence (and, of course, having a fatwa on his head). His charisma is an aphrodisiac. And you know what? Let’s get real. He’s probably never seen a barbell in his life.
The bottom line? Ladies dig this likely Gallantry Man for the same reason they dug Christopher Hitchens (i.e. ladies dig a charismatic, charming, and smart man, and they dig it heavy).
“Regrets, I've had a few/But then again, too few to mention/I did what I had to do/And saw it through without exemption”
- Frank Sinatra, “My Way”
TIP #4: DO IT YOUR WAY
As we mentioned previously, confidence is everything. You want to know a great way to boost your confidence before heading out to scope the talent at a local bar? Listen to Frank Sinatra’s “My Way”. It is the single most masculine, American song ever made, a tribute to the fact that what makes a man quintessentially a man is to live on one’s own terms.
The Chairman of the Board, Frank Sinatra, always did it his way.
The Chairman of the Board, Frank Sinatra, always did it his way.A little history about the song is relevant here. Before Sinatra debuted his rendition (it was originally a French song), he was ready to quit showbiz for good. He was sick of it and he was ready to get the hell out of it. Paul Anka, a friend and a fan, would have none of it. So what did he do? He sent Ol’ Blue Eyes lyrics for an English language version of “My Way” in hopes that he would change his legendary friend’s mind. And guess what? It worked. In 1969, Frank released his version of “My Way” and the rest, as they say, is history.
You see these lyrics?
Yes, there were times I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way
For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself then he has naught
Not to say the things that he truly feels
And not the words of someone who kneels
Let the record shows I took all the blows and did it my way
Never forget ‘em.
Chicago’s number one ladies man, Nick Marshall (Mel Gibson), pays tribute to Ol’ Blue Eyes in What Women Want (2000). Watch the full scene here.
Chicago’s number one ladies man, Nick Marshall (Mel Gibson), pays tribute to Ol’ Blue Eyes in What Women Want (2000). Watch the full scene 
Oh, and definitely watch the epic Sinatra documentary Sinatra: All or Nothing on Netflix here.
Mike (Jon Favreau) and Trent (Vince Vaughn), the greatest wingman in film history.
Mike (Jon Favreau) and Trent (Vince Vaughn), the greatest wingman in film history.TIP #5: HAVE A LEGIT WINGMAN (BUT ONLY IF HE’S LEGIT)
“There’s nothing wrong with letting the girls know that your money and that you want to party.”
– Trent (Vince Vaughn), Swingers
You’re of course familiar with the character of Trent (Vince Vaughn) from Doug Liman’s Swingers. This role, was, after all, Vince’s breakout. Now, of course, in the movie, Trent isn’t entirely evolved, and, at times, he’s a bit abrasive. That being said, he’s an incredible best friend to Mike. Trent hates seeing his friend Mike down and all he wants to do is empower him, to build him up and remind him that he’s worth loving and that he’s got more than enough self-worth to date someone as he is. In essence, the last thing in the world Trent wants to do is make anyone, particularly his besr friend Mike, feel small by putting them down.
Trent, ecstatic as he watches his friend Mike finally connect with a beautiful baby.
Trent, ecstatic as he watches his friend Mike finally connect with a beautiful baby.If you watch the movie again, you’ll realize that Trent is never trying to teach Mike how to be mean. All he’s saying throughout the movie to Mike is that he’s money and that he’s got to let women know that he wants to have fun. For Trent, it’s never about trying to make Mike or the women they encounter feel bad or doubt themselves. He’s a positive guy. The reason the dynamic between Trent and Mike ultimately works is because Trent is an amazing friend to Mikey. You can tell that Trent not only loves Mike like a brother, but that he’s willing to stand up for him (see how he berates Sue when Sue puts down Mike).
The lesson here is simple. Don’t ever have a wingman that disrespects you or dings you or tries to make you feel bad about yourself when you’re primary objective is to talk to women. If you go along with friends like that, they won’t respect you. You want to know why? Because you’re not respecting yourself. Guys that act petty and try to make their buddies feel bad in order to make themselves feel better aren’t Gallantry Man material.
The takeaway here is that if you do decide to have a wingman (or an entourage) when looking to strike up a conversation with some lucky lady (or ladies), make sure they’re solid first. There’s nothing worse than having a so-called “friend” around who’s mission it is to try to make himself look better by taking you down a notch.
TIP #6: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE A PLAYFUL, FIGURATIVE JAB, JAB, PUNCH
In the 1999 movie The Thomas Crown Affair, Thomas Crown (Pierce Brosnan) is the epitome of suave. He’s already a cool, calm, and collected billionaire, so he’s certainly not stealing artwork from The Museum of Modern Art for the money. He’s stealing it because he loves the thrill of the chase…and because he wants to make moves with Catherine Banning (Rene Russo), the gorgeous insurance investigator hot on his trail. Slowly but surely, Catherine succumbs to Thomas’s charming repartee.
The seduction gets cemented during the following exchange (watch it here):
Thomas Crown: May I ask you a very personal question?
Catherine Banning: Why not.
Thomas Crown: Would you like another hit of espresso? Would you? Like another--
Catherine Banning: Like another hit of espresso? That’s the very personal question?
Thomas Crown: That’s as good as it gets.
Catherine Banning: Excuse me. May I ask you a very personal question?
Thomas Crown: Oh, sure. By all means.
Catherine Banning: Do you really think I’m going to sleep with the man I’m investigating?
Thomas Crown: Is that the question?
Catherine Banning: Yes. That’s the question. That’s it.
Thomas Crown: Now why should I answer your question when you didn’t seriously commit to my espresso?
She LAUGHS, then…
Catherine Banning: Alright. I’ll seriously commit to your espresso.
This is the greatest push and pull in film history (if you ask us). Now, do you really think that Thomas and Catherine are talking about espresso in this scene? Or, rather, do you think that by the end of the exchange, Thomas Crown hasn’t just sealed the deal with Catherine? You better believe that Thomas’s smooth operating just put him across the finish line with Catherine. He just passed her “shit test” with flying colors and now he’s one fella that she knows for damn sure she wants to have some fun with.
This is Christopher Hitchens' philosophy played out onscreen. The good news is that you don’t have to be a Billionaire that looks like Pierce Brosnan in 1999 to pull this level of charm off, either. You can drop this freshness for free…when the right moment strikes.
TIP #7: DON’T FORCE IT
You know when you feel like money and you know when you don’t. Listen to your gut. Don’t force a night out on the town when you’re exhausted or not feeling like the money. Better to save your time and money for when you are most definitely feeling like the money. FOMO is for losers (sorry, we’re not sorry, we’re just being honest).
TIP #8: NEVER BE AFRAID OF KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT
Watch the opening scene (right here) of The Break-Up (2006) and observe how Gary (Vince Vaughn) operates once he’s set his sights on Brooke (Jennifer Aniston). Do you see how confident he is? How laser focused he is? You totally and completely buy that this guy can outkick his coverage and poach Brooke (who looks a whole lot like Rachel from Friends) from the “I definitely don’t shop at Gallantry” tucked-in stuff guy she’s with by the way he consistently surprises her with the best jab, jab, punch combo of charm, wit, humor, and confidence. She’s never experienced a pickup quite like this – broad daylight, after a Chicago Cubs game, with a date (that she obviously doesn’t really like, again, he doesn’t shop at Gallantry). When we see the opening credits montage that follows, which covers the first few years in Gary and Brooke’s relationship together, we ABSOLUTELY buy it!
Hey, you want to go get a drink?
No. I’m with someone.
Who? The guy with the tucked-in shirt and the visor? What, is that like a brother? The guy was not your brother, then. Who is this guy?
He's not my brother.
Who's this? I'm getting mad now. I'm jealous. Who is this guy?
Who are you? I don't know.
I'm kidding with you. Who's the guy with the tucked-in stuff? Is that a boyfriend? Do you think you'll marry him? ‘Cause I know you've thought about it. The first time you laid eyes on him, you probably thought, ‘I wonder if I could marry this guy in plaid shorts who tucks his shirt in. No way.’ Then when you kissed him, you said, ‘I can't believe it. I had a lot to drink tonight. I'm kissing the tucked-in guy.’ My point is, if you're not gonna marry him...and if it's not forever, then you really don't have anything to lose in taking me up on my offer.
Uh-huh. Well, I'm gonna go.
Okay. Me, too. To where? On an ice-breaking first date?
Well, no, I don't think...
Listen. If you want to stay off the market while you're with “I'm-not-the-one-but-I'm-comfortable,” then you can do that. But for all you know, I just offered you a get-out-of-bored-love-for-free card with no strings attached.
God, you're crazy.
No, I'm not crazy. And a lot of times people go, "Oh, that's crazy," and then they go, "It's genius." That's what happened when the person invented fire. They burned that witch. And then guess what? They got warm and they ate good stuff. Now where are we headed to? Let’s not make this weird because I’m not good on dates. I’m better to just hang out and if we don’t have fun, I’ll go my separate way. I’m not committing to anything. I’ll hang out with you for a little bit.
Study this scene for opening. Study the Thomas Crown scene to close. Live them. Learn them. Love them.
You’re welcome.
TIP #9: DON’T BE THAT (FRIEND ZONE) GUY
I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's *really* hoping makes it happen. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad man. You're a bad man, Mikey. You're a bad man, bad man.
- Trent, Swingers
This one is self-explanatory. Remember what Trent (Vince Vaughn) told Mike (Jon Favreau) after he blew it with the chick that was into him in Vegas by getting sappy about his ex back in New York? He tells him “You take yourself out of the game. You start talking about puppy dogs and ice cream and of course it's going to end up on the friendship tip.”
These are words to live by. If you act like a friend, you’ll get treated like one. If you act like the money, you’ll get treated like the money. Plain and simple.
TOP #10: IF A WOMAN’S THROWING YOU VIBES, YOU’LL KNOW IT
Every once in a while, you may just get lucky. A woman may lock onto you first (you are a Gallantry Man after all, this is very much a possibility). If you check her throwing vibes your way, you should be anti-nervous to make a move. A flutter of the eyelashes, too? Fuggedaboutit!
This is also applicable for any conversation, even the ones you initiate. You’ll know if the beautiful baby you’re talking to is picking up what you’re putting down or not. If she is, congrats – you’re on your way. If she isn’t, you live and you learn…so on to the next one.
“Take me for a spin, Gallantry Man!”
“Take me for a spin, Gallantry Man!”Now that you’ve got a few tips stored in your memory bank, let’s talk about wallets. After all, you’re a sharp guy, so it’s only fitting that you have a sharp everyday carry wallet on you when you’re at the bar buying cocktails for your new lady friend, you know what we mean?
“Cal. You’ve got the all the right wallets from Gallantry. You’re golden, my friend.”
“Cal. You’ve got the all the right wallets from Gallantry. You’re golden, my friend.”THE CARBON FIBER WALLET FROM RIDGE WALLET
The Ridge Carbon Fiber Wallet is a slimline minimalist card and cash carrier for the modern man who wants a little more out of his simplistic carry. It is modern in its styling and well-engineered and offers something that not many others on the market offer: RFID blocking. This sleek wallet can hold 1-12 cards without stretching out and includes both a cash strap and money clip for your convenience. And with the included T5 Torx driver, the wallet can be disassembled for maintenance or cleaning. This special edition features a Forged Ash pattern.
Available in Forged Ash and Forged Ember
Carbon Fiber Wallet
$150.00
[tab-section data-sc-active-background="#ffffff" data-sc-other-background="#ffffff" data-sc-color="#555555"][tab title="Details"] The Ridge Carbon Fiber Wallet is a slimline minimalist card and cash carrier for the modern man who wants a little more out of his simplistic carry. It is modern in its styling and well-engineered… read more
Carbon Fiber Wallet
$150.00
[tab-section data-sc-active-background="#ffffff" data-sc-other-background="#ffffff" data-sc-color="#555555"][tab title="Details"] The Ridge Carbon Fiber Wallet is a slimline minimalist card and cash carrier for the modern man who wants a little more out of his simplistic carry. It is modern in its styling and well-engineered… read more
THE ALUMINUM WALLET TOPOGRAPHIC FROM RIDGE WALLET
The Ridge Aluminum Wallet is a slimline minimalist card and cash carrier for the modern man who wants a little more out of his simplistic carry. It is modern in its styling and well-engineered and offers something that not many others on the market offer: RFID blocking. This sleek wallet can hold 1-12 cards without stretching out and includes both a cash strap and money clip for your convenience. And with the included T5 Torx driver, the wallet can be disassembled for maintenance or cleaning. This special Topographic collection edition features laser engraved aluminum.
Available in Half Dome and North Shore
Aluminum Wallet - Topographic
$125.00
[tab-section data-sc-active-background="#ffffff" data-sc-other-background="#ffffff" data-sc-color="#555555"][tab title="Details"] The Ridge Aluminum Wallet is a slimline minimalist card and cash carrier for the modern man who wants a little more out of his simplistic carry. It is modern in its styling and well-engineered and… read more
Aluminum Wallet - Topographic
$125.00
[tab-section data-sc-active-background="#ffffff" data-sc-other-background="#ffffff" data-sc-color="#555555"][tab title="Details"] The Ridge Aluminum Wallet is a slimline minimalist card and cash carrier for the modern man who wants a little more out of his simplistic carry. It is modern in its styling and well-engineered and… read more
THE D02 DAPPER WALLET FROM DANGO
As if Dango's Dapper wallet wasn't a masterpiece of everyday carry already, they took it to the next level with the new D02 version. This new variety of the American-made wallet features all of the same benefits - a 12-card capacity, RFID blocking, a bottle opener, compatibility with the brand's MT02 multi-tool insert, and a silicone cash strap - but it also features a much more striking exterior. The reason for this, in part, is its nickel-plated aluminum exterior with contrasting black band. What make it even more special, however, is that it was also assembled and polished completely by hand. This truly is one of the most elite EDC cash and card carriers available.
Available in Nickel Plated/Jet Black, and Nickel Plated/Whiskey Brown
D02 Dapper Wallet
$129.00
[tab-section data-sc-active-background="#ffffff" data-sc-other-background="#ffffff" data-sc-color="#555555"][tab title="Details"] As if Dango's Dapper wallet wasn't a masterpiece of everyday carry already, they took it to the next level with the new D02 version. This new variety of the American-made wallet features all of the… read more
D02 Dapper Wallet
$129.00
[tab-section data-sc-active-background="#ffffff" data-sc-other-background="#ffffff" data-sc-color="#555555"][tab title="Details"] As if Dango's Dapper wallet wasn't a masterpiece of everyday carry already, they took it to the next level with the new D02 version. This new variety of the American-made wallet features all of the… read more
THE FIELD NOTES NOTEBOOK WALLET FROM FORM FUNCTION FORM
This superb American made wallet is crafted from hand-stitched Horween Horsefront leather. It features six credit card slots, and a catch-all pocket in which you can store folded cash or receipts. And for those who like to jot down ideas on the run, there's also a built in sleeve for a zero gravity Fisher Space Pen Bullet alongside a dedicated slot for a Field Notes notebook - both of which are included with the wallet.
Available in Espresso and Black
Field Notes Notebook Wallet
$128.00
[tab-section data-sc-active-background="#ffffff" data-sc-other-background="#ffffff" data-sc-color="#555555"][tab title="Details"] This superb American made wallet is crafted from hand-stitched Horween Horsefront leather. It features six credit card slots, and a catch-all pocket in which you can store folded cash or receipts. And for those who… read more
Field Notes Notebook Wallet
$128.00
[tab-section data-sc-active-background="#ffffff" data-sc-other-background="#ffffff" data-sc-color="#555555"][tab title="Details"] This superb American made wallet is crafted from hand-stitched Horween Horsefront leather. It features six credit card slots, and a catch-all pocket in which you can store folded cash or receipts. And for those who… read more
“I knew you were a Gallantry Man!"
