THE BEST REVENGE MOVIES: GALLANTRY MAN EDITION

I want my final picture to be a revenge flick. We open on a Gallantry Man Legend. This guy has it all. The best everyday carry in the world. Then, one day, he gets roughed up by a couple of no-good lowlifes who snatch his Gallantry EDC and leave him for dead. When he comes to he makes it his mission to remind the bad guys who wronged him of the one big, glaring truth that they must have either not known in the first place or have forgotten altogether. No man takes a Gallantry Man Legend’s EDC and lives to tell the tale. And this Gallantry Man Legend of ours? He will have his revenge!

Ah, yes. Who doesn’t love a good old-fashioned revenge movie? We surely don’t condone taking the low road in real life here at Gallantry HQ. However, as a form of vicarious wish fulfillment that you can enjoy at a safe distance, there’s no doubt that stories revolving around the theme of revenge continue to resonate with moviegoing audiences for a reason.

“Don’t ever, and I mean don’t you EVER, try to take my Gallantry EDC.”

Folks like getting their rocks off by seeing the bad guys get their due onscreen, often-times in a violent manner. It’s why highly-engaging revenge flicks get cranked out in the first place. They help deliver a satisfying feeling to audience members all over the place.

Does the love of a good revenge movie say something deeper about human nature? Sure, but we digress. The bottom lie is that revenge movies provide a universal platform for people to engage with a very specific subject matter. In the case of the revenge movie, it happens to be one that often leaves us asking “Was it all really worth it?”

Revenge flicks are thought experiments, that’s for sure.

“You got any everyday carry flasks and shot glasses from Gallantry, boy? Tell me!”

To celebrate the classic revenge movie, we’re rounding up a bunch of our favorites (this list could easily include a seemingly infinite number of movies, but we’re just highlighting some standouts), breaking down what makes them so great, and then, of course, getting into the everyday carry flasks and shot glass sets that any Gallantry Man Legend must absolutely have on their person in order to properly drink to the vanquishing of enemies and to invoke that badass feeling of deserved comeuppance that one gets when watching a classic revenge flick.

Whether you like your sweet, sweet retribution for an injustice or a betrayal best served cold, after some time has passed and with dispassion, or hot, merciless, unapologetic, and fresh in the moment, you’ll surely find something to your liking amongst the thrilling, badass Gallantry Man classics that we’re toasting to here.

I've always loved revenge movies. You don't need to be told that much about a revenge movie, a revenge story. You've seen them before, you know what they're supposed to do.... Where you have the five people who did me wrong, and I'm going to track them down one by one and make them wish they never did.

- Quentin Tarantino (2003)

No more Mr. Nice Guy time starts NOW!

*SPOILER ALERT * *MANY, MANY SPOILERS AHEAD!*

“I killed a man who I hated today.”

- Michael J. 'Jay' Cochran (Kevin Costner)

REVENGE (1990)

Tony Scott may not have gotten love from movie critics when his not-so-subtly-titled Action/Thriller Revenge dropped in 1990, but he most certainly got love from a certain up-and-coming screenwriter at the time, Quentin Tarantino, who very much supported the idea of Scott directing his own screenplay for True Romance after seeing and loving the flick:

"I'm a huge fan of that movie. In fact, that was the reason I was supportive and really tried to make it happen that Tony directed True Romance. I was like, I want the man who did Revenge to do my movie.”

If you’ve never seen this cult classic, which stars Kevin Costner as an ex-Navy Pilot who gets caught shtupping the smoking hot wife, Miryea (Madeleine Stowe), of his acquaintance, shady Mexican businessman Tiburon Mendez (Anthony Quinn), buckle up, brother, ‘cause it doesn’t play out like you think it will.

This one’s bleak, that’s for sure.

I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you’re looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that will be the end of it. I will not look for you. I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

- Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson), Taken

TAKEN (2008)

When retired, divorced CIA agent Bryan Mills learns that his daughter has been kidnapped by human traffickers looking to sell her into forced prostitution, let’s just say this sleeping giant gets woken the f up!

Soon enough, papa gets to Paris and starts hunting. It’s here where our favorite moment goes down. Mills winds up torturing some punk named Marko in an attempt to extract information about his daughter’s whereabouts, telling him “You either give me what I need or this switch will stay on until they turn the power off for lack of payment on the bill.” Even though Mills believes Marko that he doesn’t know anything, he informs Marko “It’s not gonna save you” before frying him.

CLASSIC!

“That woman deserves her revenge. And we deserve to die.”

- Budd (Michael Madsen), Kill Bill Vol. 2

KILL BILL VOL.1 (2003)/KILL BILL VOL. 2 (2004)

You can’t really spell “revenge” without mentioning Quentin Tarantino’s classic two-parter, Kill Bill (well, actually you can, but that’s neither here nor there at the moment).

When former contract killer The Bride (Uma Thurman) awakens from a years-long coma after being left for dead at her own wedding by former lover and boss Bill (David Carradine), as well as her ex-comrades, O-Ren Ishii (Lucy Liu), Vernita Green (Vivica A. Fox), Elle Driver (Daryl Hannah), and Budd (Michael Madsen), none of whom are happy about The Bride’s decision to retire without giving an adequate two-week notice, it’s safe to say that The Bride ain’t ending her revenge journey until everyone’s name on her hit list (which sees Bill as the last stop) gets crossed off.

“You and I have unfinished business.”

“Baby. You ain’t kidding.”

As a revenge movie that pays homage to Tarantino’s favorite Italian spaghetti Westerns, Japanese samurai movies, and Hong Kong martial-arts flicks, both volumes of Kill Bill are the real deal.

We love ‘em!

When Helen died, I lost everything. Until that dog arrived on my doorstep... A final gift from my wife... In that moment, I received some semblance of hope... an opportunity to grieve unalone... And your son... took that from me … Stole that from me... Killed that from me! People keep asking if I'm back and I haven't really had an answer. But now, yeah, I'm thinkin' I'm back. So you can either hand over your son or you can die screaming alongside him!

- John Wick (Keanu Reeves)

JOHN WICK (2014)

C’mon! You know we had to do it with this epic and brutal revenge flick about the iconic former assassin seeking to the avenge the adorable puppy given to him by his late wife, the woman that managed to reform him in the first place.

For the whole shebang on “Why John Wick Will Never Die,” read our classic piece HERE.

“Revenge is a meal best served cold.”

- John W. Creasy (Denzel Washington)

MAN ON FIRE (2004)

Jaded, hard-drinking, and extremely burnt-out ex-CIA operative John Creasy is a shell of a man when Man on Fire begins. However, once Creasy accepts a job as a bodyguard for Lupita (Dakota Fanning), the 9-year-old daughter of a wealthy Mexico City businessman looking to make sure that his pride and joy doesn’t get kidnapped, he slowly but surely rediscovers his humanity. Suffice to say, that little detour comes to a crashing halt when Lupita gets kidnapped.

“A man can be an artist in anything. Food, whatever. It depends on how good he is at it. Creasy's art is death. He's about to paint his masterpiece.”

- Paul Rayburn (Christopher Walken)

Consumed with rage and wrecked with guilt, Creasy vows to take out every corrupt criminal and cop in striking distance until he gets his new little friend back home safe and sound.

Our personal favorite Man scene involves Creasy extracting information from some lowlife named Fuentes (Jesus Ochoa) by gifting him with a suppository bomb.

It’s Fire. For real.

“I've killed women and children. I've killed everything that walks or crawls at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you, Little Bill, for what you done to Ned.”

- Will Munny, Unforgiven

UNFORGIVEN (1992)

If you’ve read one of our most Gallantry Man pieces of all-time, “ Unforgiven: Clint Eastwood’s Masterpiece” (check it out HERE), you already know that we think this Western, just about one of the finest meditations on vengeance ever made, is the bees knees.

For most of the flick, retired outlaw William Munny (Clint Eastwood) can’t pull it together for one last job. However, when his best friend Ned Logan (Morgan Freeman) is tortured and killed by corrupt, selfish sheriff “Little Bill” (Gene Hackman), this all changes.

It changes a lot.

“Time to meet God.”

- Alejandro (Benicio Del Toro)

SICARIO (2015)

For most of Sicario, we think we’re watching a nothing short of incredibly taut, tense Thriller about an idealistic FBI Agent, Kate (Emily Blunt), who is clearly in over her head as she gets more involved with the CIA in and around the increasingly violent drug war near the U.S. border. However, about two-thirds of the way through the flick’s running time, Alejandro, a former sicario (“hitman”) who once worked for the Medellín Cartel in Colombia but is now working with the CIA, hijacks the narrative and turns the whole thing into a straight-up brutal revenge banger about a total badass out to avenge the murder of his late wife and daughter.

"You should move to a small town, somewhere the rule of law still exists. You will not survive here. You are not a wolf, and this is a land of wolves now."

Benicio Del Toro? Mori like Del TorBRO, you know what we mean?

I'm forty-seven. Forty-seven years old. You know how I stayed alive this long? All these years? Fear. The spectacle of fearsome acts. Somebody steals from me, I cut off his hands. He offends me, I cut out his tongue. He rises against me, I cut off his head, stick it on a pike, raise it high up so all on the streets can see. That's what preserves the order of things. Fear.

- William “Bill the Butcher” Cutting (Daniel Day-Lewis)

GANGS OF NEW YORK (2002) 

Before there were the Kill Bill movies, there was Martin Scorsese’s Gangs of New York, the great 2002 movie in which Amsterdam Vallon (Leonardo DiCaprio) returns to Five Point in New York City on a mission to, you know, kill Bill (William “Bill the Butcher” Cutting, that is) as a means of finally avenging his father’s death.

“When you kill a king, you don't stab him in the dark. You kill him where the entire court can watch him die.”

– Amsterdam Vallon (Leonardo DiCaprio)

Lewis absolutely slays it here and watching his performance never gets old.

I leave this as a declaration of intent, so no one will be confused. One. Si vis pacem, para bellum. Latin. Boot Camp Sergeant made us recite it like a prayer. Si vis pacem, para bellum. If you want peace, prepare for war. Two. Frank Castle is dead. He died with his family. Three. In certain extreme situations, the law is inadequate. In order to shame its inadequacy, it is necessary to act outside the law. To pursue... natural justice. This is not vengeance. Revenge is not a valid motive. It's an emotional response. No, not vengeance. Punishment.

- Frank Castle (Thomas Jane), The Punisher

THE PUNISHER (2004)

Don’t ever listen to the haters out there. The Punisher is unbelievable.

For starters, the movie’s premise hinges on the baddies literally wiping out undercover FBI agent Castle’s entire family. We don’t just mean his immediate one, either. We mean literally his eighth cousin, once-removed (the big initial attack wherein Castle gets left for dead takes place at his family reunion), too.

Violent and brutal, The Punisher is the definition of a revenge movie about a ruthless vigilante seeking to avenge his family by any means necessary (even if Castle himself claims otherwise).

“Somebody’s got to pay.”

- Walker (Lee Marvin), Point Blank

POINT BLANK (1967)/PAYBACK (1999)

There are always exceptions to the rule and when it comes to the existence of stylish, cool remakes, Payback definitely proves itself as one of the exception. In other words, it’s just as good as the movie that it is remaking, John Boorman's 1967 thriller, Point Blank.

“Not many people know what their life's worth is. I do. Seventy grand. That's what they took from me. And that's what I was going to get back.”

- Porter (Mel Gibson)

Both Blank and Payback center on a mysterious criminal looking to not only get revenge on former accomplices (a two-timing wife and her lover in Blank, a two-timing wife and former partner in Payback) after they leave him for dead, but one who is also looking to collect money that is still owed to him for a previous job.

For the anti-hero protagonist of Blank and Payback, it all comes down to principle.

“I have spent my entire life searching for that thing that killed my mother, and made me what I am. And every time I take one of those monsters out, I get a little piece of that life back.”

- Blade (Wesley Snipes)

BLADE (1998)

If you haven’t seen Blade get medieval on Deacon Frost (Stephen Dorff) and Frost’s baddie vamp friends after discovering that his mentor/father-figure Abraham Whistler (Kris Kristofferson) has been put out for pasture by them, we highly recommend it. Let’s just say that as it pertains to Frost and his gang, Blade shows them the curtains.

“You gonna get some sweet EDC from Gallantry or what?”

If there’s a lesson hidden in Blade (and believe us, there is), it’s this - don’t ever mess with Outlaw Country Legend Kris Kristofferson.

Ever.

“When you hear a strange sound, drop to the ground.”

- Harmonica (Charles Bronson)

ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE WEST (1968)

Charles Bronson is so badass as Harmonica in Sergio Leone’s Western revenge classic West that it still never ceases to baffle us upon repeated viewings.

It also never ceases to make us want to just whittle some wood. So, on that note, read “Great American Pasttimes: An Intro To Whittling” HERE.

“If we're not pioneers, what have we become? What do you call people who, when they're faced with a condition or fear, do nothing about it?”

- Paul Kersey (Charles Bronson)

DEATH WISH (1974)

The defining vigilante picture still resonates, perhaps nowadays more than ever. It pairs perfectly with Once Upon A Time in the West for some legendary Bronson double trouble, too.

GET SOME!

“You learn to love the rope. That's how you beat 'em. That's how you beat people who torture you. You learn to love 'em. Then they don't know you're beatin' 'em.”

- Major Charles Rane (William Devane)

ROLLING THUNDER (1977)

This legendary 70’s vengeance flick, directed by John Flynn, is actually Quentin Tarantino’s favorite - so much so that he named his former distribution company, Rolling Thunder Pictures, after it.

The flick follows Vietnam vet Major Charles Rane (William DeVane), who returns home from the war only to wind up left for dead alongside his family by a bunch of thugs out to rob him of his silver coins.

Did we mention that Tommy Lee Jones plays Johnny Vohden, a fellow soldier who offers to help Rane find (and kill) the scum that wronged him? It might just be his best role ever.

Suffice to say, Thunder is infinitely rewatchable.

"Fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live… at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willin’ to trade all the days, from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… OUR FREEDOM!"

- William Wallace (Mel Gibson)

BRAVEHEART (1995)

Those English troops really shouldn’t have slaughtered William Wallace’s new bride and childhood love Murron, you know what we mean?

Oh, well.

“My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.”

- Maximus (Russell Crowe), Gladiator

GLADIATOR (2000)

“Are you not entertained?!”

It’s the billion dollar question that Roman General-turned-Gladiator Maximus asks his salivating-for-bread-and-circuses audience in the climactic scene of Ridley Scott’s Gladiator. Could there have been a more fitting movie line to help kick off the 21^st century?

We think not.

“He was my best friend. He came to see me in Detroit a couple of days ago. A couple hours after he got there, someone killed him. It’s f***** up.”

– Axel Foley, Beverly Hills Cop

BEVERLY HILLS COP (1984)

We know Beverly Hills Cop is one of the most iconic (and hilarious) Action Comedies ever made, but is it not also a revenge movie?

It is! Now cue the Eddie Murphy laugh!

“I’m gonna bag Masters and I don’t give a s*** how I do it.”

- Richard Chance (William Petersen)

TO LIVE AND DIE IN L.A. (1985)

This particular writer could fill a whole book with details regarding how and why To Live and Die in L.A. is perhaps the most underrated movie of all-time, but make no mistake, this flick is a revenge movie through and through, a story that is ultimately about the nihilism one Secret Service agent is willing to endure in order to avenge the death of his partner and best friend.

Oh, and Richard Chance also happens to be one of the most badass characters in movie history.

So, you know, there’s that.

“How does it feel to know you're about to die?”

- Mason Storm (Steven Seagal)

HARD TO KILL (1990)

Seagal was a straight beast in the late 80’s and early 90’s. In the Action classic Hard to Kill, Seagal plays Mason Storm, a tough-as-nails L.A. cop that wakes up from a coma and instantly begins hunting for the intruders who killed his wife and left him for dead.

YEAAAAH BUDDY!

Sure, Storm gets distracted by some hot af nookie via Kelly LeBrock along the way, but what do you want from the guy? He’s only human!

“I'm not a cop tonight, Rog. This is personal.”

- Detective Martin Riggs (Mel Gibson)

LETHAL WEAPON 2 (1989)

Lethal Weapon 2 is a lot darker, in a great way, than Lethal Weapon. This largely stems from the fact that the movie becomes a straight-up revenge flick after halftime. In any case, it’s an incredibly fresh and entertaining flick.

Why do these Weapon universe jabroni bad dudes keep thinking they can push Martin Riggs around and get away with it? We’ll never know for sure, but we’ll always watch when they do!

“Easy, fella. You’re looking a little light there on your everyday carry from Gallantry. We’re going to have fix that, now won’t we?”

ROAD HOUSE (1989)

Rule #1. Nobody messes with Gallantry Man Legend Sam Elliott.

Rule #2. Nobody messes with Gallantry Man Legend Sam Elliott.

Rule #...you get the gist.

In any case, watch Road House to find out what happens to punks who even think about touching one of those perfect American silver hairs on Elliott’s head.

Yeah. Let’s just say bouncer James Dalton (Patrick Swayze) isn’t having any of it in this small Missouri town when his mentor Wade Garrett (Elliott) meets his premature demise at the hands of little pipsqueak Brad Wesley (Ben Gazzara). In fact, he isn’t having any of it at all (though he is having some Kelly Lynch, and we’re not mad at that).

It’s not a fact, per say, but it is true that Road House might just be the best Gallantry Man Legend movie ever made.

What? We’re just sayin’!

Speaking of sayin’ stuff, let’s talk about the flasks and shot glasses you’re going to be most definitely be needing from Gallantry in order to toast to the vanquishing of your enemies.

“Let’s get these Stanley Master Unbreakable Hip Flasks in Black and Hammertone Green from Gallantry. I’m trying to really toast to the vanquishing of our enemies, you dig?”

THE MASTER UNBREAKABLE HIP FLASK FROM STANLEY

Finding a good hip flask is a relatively easy task, sure, but finding one that can stand up to the punishment of outdoor adventure? Well, that’s a different story entirely.

Enter the 8-ounce Stanley Master Unbreakable Hip Flask. For this bad boy, its familiar territory.

This beautiful vessel is built from black powder-coated, cold-rolled steel that's both dishwasher safe and tough enough for life on the trails. It also happens to feature internal threading for easier swig-ability, be BPA-free, and leakproof.

Is it any wonder that Stanley is so confident in the quality and performance of this flask it comes with a lifetime warranty on it?

HA!

SPECIFICATIONS

• Foundry black powdercoat-finished cold-rolled stainless steel construction
• 8 oz capacity
• Machined steel cap
• Wide mouth opening
• Internal threading on cap
• Leakproof
• Dishwasher safe
• BPA-free
• Lifetime guarantee
• 0.6 lbs weight
• 5.04" H 3.62" W x 1.38" D

“I’m not joking. If y’all aren’t going to take this Gallantry Man Legend ish seriously by bringing your everyday carry Stanley Hammertone Green and Black Pre-Party Shotglass and Flask Sets from Gallantry to set, you can walk. Did you hear me? I said I wasn’t joking. Take a hike!”

THE PRE-PARTY SHOTGLASS & FLASK SET FROM STANLEY

Take the party to-go on any adventure, whether involves watching a sweet revenge flick or not, with the Stanley Adventure Pre-Party Shotglass and Flask Set. Four stainless steel shot glasses nest neatly inside the carrying case and they won’t break, not even if you drop them. Best of all, the slim 8 oz. flask holds enough to fill all four shots, and it still slides easily into a small bag or backpack.

The bottom line is that this kit can literally go anywhere. It makes a great gift, too!

SPECIFICATIONS

• Set Includes:

          o [4] Shot glasses (2 OZ / 59 ML)

          o [1] Stainless steel carrying case

          o [1] Flask (8 OZ / .32 L)

• Adventure Series
• 18/8 stainless steel, BPA-free
• Nesting System
• Hand Wash Only
• 9.9L x 2.8W x 7.1H in

“I like the way you die, boy.”

- Django (Jamie Foxx)

STREAMING THE EDC FLASKS AND SHOT GLASS SETS

Tarantino really knows how to make those revenge flicks, doesn’t he?

The maestro’s 2012 flick, Django Unchained, centers on a freed slave who travels across the country with a German bounty hunter, Dr. King Schultz (Christoph Waltz), in order to free his wife, Broomhilda (Kerry Washington), from a charismatic albeit insane plantation owner, Calvin J. Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio).

Super bloody and filled with crackling dialogue, Diango is straight revenge movie fire.

Stream it on Netflix right HERE tonight!

“You had my curiosity about this newsletter, The Dispatch from Gallantry. Now you have my attention when it comes to their EDC.”

- Calvin Candie (Leonardo DiCaprio), probably